Oh, the boringness...

I'd spent almost all my waking hrs today looking at job postings on the net (see, I can't get away from my PC even on a holiday!)... erm, well, except for the few hrs when I was watching Oprah and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (those Indian actresses are just too gorgeous!), hehe...

But anyway, back to the job postings... I was going from page to page to page of job postings on Jobstreet.com and JobsBD.com and everything looked soooooooo boring!!! Account Manager, Marketing Executive, Customer Service Agent, Software Engineer, Developer, Application Consultant... man, I was bored to tears! But I had to keep looking so I did lar...

Then I came across an interesting post... Dating Consultant Trainee! Now THAT sounded interesting! Imagine, u're a matchmaker for all those busy ppl out there who're busy working and working and working to have a life to call their own, let alone to meet ppl and get into a serious relationship. Now, how interesting is that??????? ;o)

Did I apply for it? Erm... no lar. It's a trainee position... the pay's gonna be peanuts. And I can't afford to earn peanuts right now. I'll sleep on it and see if it's worth it.

But out of all those hundreds of posting I went thru, this was the ONLY one that caught my attention.

Haisshh... "where are all the funky jobs?!" sung to "Where have all the flowers gone" by Pete Seeger... sorry lar, "funky jobs" was all I could come up with to match the song at this time of the nite... o_O

Have u ever felt...

...like curling up into a ball and hiding out, sometimes???

A Resounding and Vehement NO

NO, my life is not my work (unless, from some sheer luck, my dream came true and I'm able to build and run my own animal sanctuary).

NO, work does not always come first. It comes first during work hours and almost always the following few hours after work but thank you, I have a life to which I would like to return to at a reasonable time every day.

My former boss had told me before, she used to expect her staff to stay late and complete their work by hook or by crook coz her reasoning was "If I can do it, so can you." And it was true, during the critical periods where we had to stay till the wee hours of the morning to complete our testing, and when we had to work in shifts to get the testing done, she was there throughout the entire time. And she with 2 kids and a hubby, no less.

But recently, she shared that she has now changed and come to accept that her staff have lives of their own and no longer expect them to work their butts off to get something done coz "work will always be there."

When I was working in the States, the latest I'd worked was until 9.30pm, and that was only for one day. Throughout my 1 year with that company, I'd only had to work late ONE day. By 6pm, the building is almost deserted. Ppl leave their work, finished or unfinished, to go home to their families and loved ones. If something was not completed today (unintentionally, of course), they would understand and not give u a hard time for not completing it. Maybe it was coz the place where I was living in at that time was in the outskirts of the city and not in downtown proper. But still... it was a pleasant experience.

Imagine the culture shock when I returned to M'sia!

Had lunch with a GM once and he remarked "Here, if you come in to work early and leave work late, it's expected of you and no one will notice. But man, if u ever leave early, every pair of eyes will be fixed on ur back when u leave the office."

See, life is short. There're so many things that each of us wishes to accomplish in our lives and those who have career as a priority, by all means, go ahead and reach for the stars. Career ambitions are great, for some. But there are also others who appreciate other things in life aside from work. As with all other things, there's got to be a balance and equilibrium somewhere.

I, for one, do not wish to work like a dog and waking up one day, a wrinkly 40-year-old with stress lines all over my face, asking myself "Wat the hell have I been doing with my life all these years???"

A Moment Aside...

*DEEP BREATH*

I have 286 more days.

I must hang in there and not explode.

Mantra to self:
There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me. There are other ppl worse off than me.

But but...

I DUNNO HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN STAND!!! *WAIL!*

Sutra Members

...Gundu, looking pensive...

New Sutra members! There's Bujang, Maya, Bisu/Biju (can't remember which it is, but it's the white one's name)... and one more I can't, for the life of me, remember wat's his/her name. But they are sooooooo cute!!!!!

Hahaha...

He lasted about 15 mins in the same room with those ppl... before he took off...

HAHA!!!

Enough Picking Already!

Can u ppl just stop bugging me about THAT?????

I'm sick of being told "Oh, s/he is like that one lar. U should know wat and be the bigger person to make the first move." For years. Fed up already. Just coz someone is a certain way, doesn't mean it's right and it doesn't mean I have to put up with it any longer. Why dun u all go and pick on the other person instead?

Some ppl will just have to accept the fact that some of their actions WILL result in negative consequences sooner or later (good Lord! really?!) and learn/work to make things right.

Until then, I'm minding my own business.

Have a good life.

All By Myself

Time to walk it alone.

Must not be dependent on anyone, thus decreasing vulnerability.

Chin up. Walk tall. Show everyone that I'm the happiest person in the entire world.

:-D

This is a cute video.

Drawing

I luv drawing pics and diagrams with Visio, hehe *goofy grin*

Big Picture

Note to self :
must.not.assume.that.all.ppl.will.appreciate.details.

Money or passion???

Here's an interesting article. Thanks, Ian, :o)

Wat a Night...

I was at Paris Hilton's album launch at Zouk on Friday nite. Yep, I was there... but not exactly by choice. And let's just say that the event was NOT up to my expectations at all.

And I'm further reminded why I've never liked going to clubs like Zouk. Imo, (1) It's a pretentious place, (2) The music sucks, (3) It's so boring. Give me a salsa club any nite, at least I know I can work up some sweat rather than just absorb cigarette smoke in my hair and clothes. Maybe I'm biased but really, these clubs just dun have any appeal at all, haha.

The nite was rather spoiled because of 2 incidents...

Before we went in to Zouk, we were sitting at the Terrace Bar, watching the big screen TV and drinking our margaritas when this bunch of foreigners (most likely Americans from their accent) walked in. There were about 10+ of them and they caught my attention coz firstly, they were loud. Secondly, they started demanding loudly to a waiter for a VIP table coz according to one of them, they'd spent like, 4000 dollars (or some equally high amount) at that place. Then, this is the most ridiculous part of the whole scene, one of them pulls out a gold credit card, holds it up to the waiter's face and says "You see this? This is a VIP card. V-I-P. We are Very Important People". At this point, I was already rolling my eyes and thinking, "Aiyoh! Gold credit card only mar. I also got lar! Just apply then can get lar. Since when does having a gold credit card entitle u to be a VIP?!"

And then, the waiter who was trying to get a table set up for them (the place was quite full), had the nerve to ask the 2 ladies sitting behind our table to move up to the bar so he could let this group of rude, loud, inconsiderate foreigners have the table. I mean, come on lar! Those ladies are also paying for their drinks, ok??? This is not a kopitiam where it is normal practice to request for customers to share tables or move to a smaller table so the table can be given to a larger group. Just coz this bunch of rude foreigners come in and demand for a table, u ask a customer who's already occupying a table and in the middle of their drink to vacate the table for these ppl??? Let THEM sit at the freaking bar and wait for a table to become available lar! Geez! Maybe this could be standard practice in the F&B industry... I dunno, I'm not in the industry but I just think it's wrong. There was no sign that any of the tables were VIP tables and if they wanted to cater to so-called VIPs like these, they should just build a VIP room so they can just stash these loud VIPs there and not compromise the comfort of their other regular paying customers.

***************
Then, as I was driving out of the open air car park that's opposite Saloma and MATIC (next to Lai Meng Chinese school), as I just moving to merge into the oncoming traffic on my side of the road (I wanted to head to Jln Bkt Bintang via KLCC), I almost hit this 2 mat sallehs who chose to walk across in front of my car at that particular moment.





Ok, so it was my fault for not looking out for traffic coming from the left side of me when I'd just wanted to merge into the lane going the same direction (apparently, pedestrians take precedence in ALL situations)... but u'd think it was common sense to walk BEHIND a car who was just abt to make a left turn into traffic.

I was quite shaken after that coz it's never happened to me before and I was trying to figure out why. So after thinking back to all similar driving scenarios, I've never come across anyone who'd walked in front of my car! But anyway, like I was told by Merv, pedestrians rule. So thanks to this incident, I'll be more paranoid in the future abt looking out for pedestrians with no common sense at all.

***************
Seriously, wat's with all these foreigners who come to our country and think that they can flash around their gold credit cards and get VIP treatment and walking like they own the freaking roads??? I dun go to other ppl's countries and make a nuisance of myself.

***************
Thankfully, the lousy first part of the nite was compensated by an enjoyable salsa nite, though Salsa Havana was really quite hot. Dunno wat happened to their air-conditioning...

Rant and Rave

*deep breath* Gotta hang in there for at least another 10 months...

I just dun understand why some ppl won't take ownership of their own work and tasks. I mean, like, grow up already! U're in charge of something, then just make sure it gets done without requiring any pushing and prodding.

I also dun understand why some ppl always must make things difficult when, at the end of the day, we're all working towards the same goal i.e. work our asses off to generate more and more and more revenue for our employer... and sit on our hands and hope that we'd be given a minute slice of it at the end of the year.

And I dun understand why we always have to say YES to everyone who comes to us when other ppl who are supposed to support us can say NO or make it so difficult for us to implement our YES.

And I'm even angrier at myself for letting myself be affected by such pricks. Gotta.Grow.Thicker.Skin.And.Stuff.It.All.Back.Into.Their.Faces!!!!

So tiring, groveling and begging ppl to do stuff... geeez... like I owe them my life *rolling eyes*

***************Odissi today was great! Ramli took our class after a long absence and we had an awesome workout. After his warm-up session, we were all already sweating, even before we started our chowkas. I really enjoy his classes, even though we get reprimanded when we dun do our moves correctly. He's strict but we actually put in more effort when he takes our classes.

Mei Mei's lucky that she's able to QUIT HER JOB to focus on dancing full-time. I wish I had that luxury... well, not really luxury lar, I'm sure she has her issues to deal with when she made the decision. But then to be able to do something u love day in and day out, even though it's really hard work (dancing is not at all about ppl just prancing around on stage doing weird poses; it's about technique and discipline in mastering the steps, and that's only part of the picture), u get a sense of achievement that u'd actually accomplished something at the end of the day, even more so coz it's wat u really love to do.

When I'm in dance class, those couple of hrs just takes my mind off everything else that's going on in my life -- especially the not-so-good things like stress and other worries. The feeling of putting my total concentration on executing the moves and working on my abhinaya is just exhilarating. And it does require total concentration or else sooner or later, I'd either make a mistake or lose my abhinaya when a stupid worry or thought abt other things (mainly work) start creeping into my mind. Not like I dun have enough of it during the day, huh?

So anyway, I had a great class today. I hope Ramli takes our class more often but he's got a tour coming up so he'll probably be gone for a couple of months. Even though the senior dancers know their stuff and class is a bit more relaxed with them, it's still the best when the Master takes over.

Oh, he has 6 new puppies and they are soooooooooo adorable!!! :o)

***************Gotta hang in there for another 10 months... I cannot, must not, WILL NOT FAIL!!!!! Grraaarrrr!!! *snarling and showing my fangs*

***************
Owww!! My feet are becoming a banquet for the stupid mossies!!

Annoyed

Am very annoyed with myself.

Must.Not.Let.Self.Get.Affected.By.Morons.And.Assholes.

Ggggrrrrrr...

I miss India

I just realized something...

I automatically associate anything Indian (songs, movies, dances, etc.) with happy/fun feelings coz I had such a great time there when I visited the country last year.

Which is why I listen to 92.3FM (Hindi/Tamil radio station -- still can't figure which is it!) when I get bored with the mainstream radio stations, even though I dun understand a single word they're singing...

Which is why I enjoy going to Masjid India and Lebuh Ampang... coz I'm usually shopping for sarees and other accessories for Odissi in these places...

Maybe we were lucky coz we had a friend who was an Indian national with us during our trip so we had someone deal with the drivers and shopkeepers for us, someone to select the restaurants for us, and someone to take us shopping (or getting his brother to take us shopping when he had stuff to do, hehe).

Maybe it would've been different if we three gals (two Chinese and one M'sian Indian) were to have gone on the trip on our own.

BUT maybes aside, it was an awesome trip. And I would love to visit the country again soon.

:o)

Blonde Moment o_O

I've been having this same blonde moment lately.

Make that about 3-5 times too many, when I should've already learnt from the first one.

Each time I fill my car with gas, I'd close the gas cap (is that wat it's called?) BUT I forget to close the tank cover! And it happened again just now, on the way home from work.

Usually, I'd catch it before I left the gas station. But tonight, I didn't catch it until I was out on the highway. I glanced at my rearview mirror and went "Oh shit, how blurdy embarrassing!" So I had to stop at the side of the road, dash outta my seat and slam the cover shut.

The only reason I can figure out as to why this keeps happening is that, while I'm closing the gas cap, I'm removing my credit card receipt from the machine at the same time coz I'm irrationally paranoid about it flying off and then I tend to forget to close the tank cover and just drive off. But thing is, I dunno WHY I'm so paranoid about my receipt flying off from the machine... when I can always request for another one from the cashier! *smacks self in the head*

o_O

Pretty Paws

"Check out my pwetty paws!!"

Sarees!!

I was bad today.

I bought a saree... even though (1) I'm broke, and (2) I've got no occasion to wear sarees :o(

But but... it's a really nice saree!!!

Mei Mei has a friend who operates a saree business in Chennai, and he comes to Malaysia each year before Deepavali. He brings along sarees to sell and Mei Mei brought 5 sarees to Sutra today to see who was interested to buy. I was on the way out after class but I noticed the girls were checking something out (I should've just walked straight out the door!) so I stopped to kepo a bit. And they were checking out the sarees that Mei Mei had brought... and I just HAD to get the orange one! Not only was the material so soft... but it had come straight from India!!! I had to get it!!!!

So now, I have at least 5 sarees... but no where to wear them to :o(

But they're so pretty! I couldn't resist!! Especially when I went to India. That was like, saree spree, man!! I bought 4 sarees there!

My pretty sarees :o)

Now I just need to find some place, some occasion to wear them...

Heeled :o(

I got heeled at salsa on Friday.

It was damn painful, man!!!

It's times like this when I envy the guys coz they get to wear closed shoes...

I haven't given it a good rubbing yet so it's not as red as it would be when I'm done rubbing it.

Painful lar... owww! :o(

Lazy Saturday...

I felt like I was on a holiday today.

I woke up at 1:30pm *big grin* and we went to Merv's shop for a late lunch at about 4:15pm (and got stuck on Jalan TAR, the traffic was horrendous!) and while sitting there waiting for the traffic to clear, I just felt so relaxed and at ease and was thinking "how nice it would be if everyday could be like this! even with the traffic so bad!" Haha, wishful thinking.

I wish every day was a weekend.

I realized that if you allow ppl to get away with unfavorable behavior one time too many, they'll take it for granted that they can get away with it any time. Which is why THIS time, I'm not taking it any more. I've held it in for far too long and it's been accumulating far too much all these years. I refuse to be pushed around and put down any longer.

*Yaaawwwnnn* I'm soooooo lazy today!!!

Blah blah blah...

...sigh...

The disillusionment and frustration has set in again.

I always wonder...

Wat's my role here on Earth?

Wat am I doing with my life?

Are we all really supposed to live life, working in dull jobs (for some of us), running around like mindless mice for our employers just to make a living? Just living from day to mundane day?

I dun like not knowing wat to do...

I dun like making mistakes... coz people dun remember your achievements even if u do a million good things, but they will always remember your mistakes. Even a single tiny one. But see, mistakes help u learn, no?

I'm tired... I'm overwhelmed...

I'm pessimistic. Sometimes, I think that I'm the most negative person around.

Sometimes I dun think I'm cut out for this...

...sigh...

ok... that's it for a really depressing rant for now...

Will We Ever Learn???

This and this is so depressing.

When reading things like this, I wish I'd studied wildlife biology instead. At least, then I have some avenue to contribute to the conservation of endangered animals. Rather than sit here, helpless and unable to do anything.

Sigh...

When will we humans ever learn that enough is enough?? Enough development, enough pollution, enough of destroying nature.

Very soon, the only wild animals we'll be able to see are those in picture books. And when we start to realize that we gotta do something, it'll already be too late.

Humans are such selfish creatures, all out to make a profit regardless of the cost. We've got so much funds for developing this building or that residential area, but none to spare for our fellow Earth inhabitants. What's more, we encroach into their territory and when they're forced to come out to "our" space to look for food, we cry foul and shoot them.

Where's the fairness in all of this, I ask u???

Sigh... I have no hope in the human race at all.

B-l-u-r-g-h

This is how I feel on Sunday nites, in anticipation of another workweek ahead...

B-L-U-R-G-H

Meet-Ups

This weekend was full of get-togethers with friends.

Renuga was back in town from Miri, so we met up in Bangsar on Friday nite. This was an ex-Vsource and ex-MNC bunch...

Saturday, Julia had her housewarming so we headed to Kajang. Haven't met up with my Kajang gals since Feb this year, when we had Joann's surprise birthday party. Gawd, and it's already August! *GASP!*

Julia's the first of our bunch to get married and to set up home. Next, we'll probably be expecting to hear news of tiny pitter-patter of baby feet from the happy couple soon, hehe...

Life's Like That

Sometimes, I feel like life is playing a cruel joke on me.

Sometimes, I wish I didn't have to make things more complicated than they already are. But then I realize that there are some things that are just a PART of me, that make me who I am, things that I can't give up just like that. Things that I need to work at to find compromises for. Coz having to choose one over the other would be like asking me to choose if I want to give up my right arm or my left arm, both of which mean just as much to me.

But at this point, I'm clueless.

I dunno wat to do. My mind is in bits and pieces right now and I have no idea how to work out a solution.

I guess life IS cruel sometimes.

So many killings...

Was going thru Y! News today and noticed the following headlines:

Aiyoh, so many killings happening around the world! :o(

Wanna be a Model??? I dun think so!

Some time last year, a friend of mine sent me an email from her colleague, an editor of a local female mag, who was looking for a few regular, everyday people - like me - to go for a makeover and appear in their magazine.

Me and Chris agreed to go for it. In our emails, we were supposed to let them know one physical aspect of ourselves that we dislike and which we wish to makeover. Mine was my chest, which is as flat as a runway, hehe...

So there I was, at the office/studio, bright and early at 8am on a Saturday morning *gasp!* We were told to come in our most unflattering outfit to exaggerate our "problem areas", so to speak, coz they were gonna take Before pics. So I went there in an oversized T and my capris.

After the Before shots, we were taken to the makeup room, 3 at a time... coz that was all the space that was available. They worked on my hair, curling it. I dunno wat styling cream they put on my hair but when they used the curling iron on it, I could literally hear my hair crackling! All I could do was pray that they weren't burning my hair; they were supposed to be professionals after all. After the hair, they did my face. Another reason why I would never make it as a model (aside from not having the looks, height, figure, etc.) is that my eyes are so damn sensitive that it tears when eye makeup is being applied. And coz of this, they had to stop frequently to let me dry my eyes before they could continue. I tell u, if this was a real modeling assignment, the show would've been over before they were even done with my makeup! Haha!

Finally, they were done with my makeup and hair (my hair was curled and left flowy), we went back to the place where we had our Before shots taken and were given different clothes to wear. I got this brownish, knee-length dress and a pair of clog-like sandals. The dress looked like curtain material to me!! Gah!! But who am I to argue with a professional stylist, rite? After I put on the clothes, he decided that he didn't like my hair down. So he sent me back to the makeup room to get the hairstylist to do up my hair. Ok, here's where it got worse. My hair was not bad after it was curled and left down. But when they put up my hair, I looked liked an auntie! *wail!* Ok, nvm... wat could I say rite??

Back to the studio. Time to pose for my shots. Gawd, this was the worst of all!!! A few other girls had their shots taken before me and they were done pretty fast so I thought, hey, no sweat. I should be done in wat, 5 mins? Easy peasy, get my shots done and then can go get breakfast. Yeah, rite! Someone shoot me! I found out that day that I sooooo totally suck at posing for shots, man! Damn useless at it! Cannot pose for shots at all to save my life!!! I was so kaku and wooden and not natural at all!! After 15 mins, they still couldn't get a nice shot and I was like, man, this is tiring. Can we just forget my pics and pretend that I didn't come here at all?? I think the photographer told me to take a break and proceeded to the next girl before coming back to me. Even then, they didn't manage to take that nice a shot, probably just an ok one. But by then, I was too frustrated and annoyed and didn't wanna take anymore pics so while reviewing the pics, I just chose one that looked ok and said "Ok ok, just use this one! It looks fine."

In the end, they changed the topic of the makeover... and my shots weren't used after all coz it didn't fit into the topic. Thank gawd!!! Coz I looked like a clown in that dress and shoes!!! I remember I was praying really hard after the shoot, that they won't use my pics... and as far as I know, they didn't use it in any of the later issues either.

And THAT, was my first and last stint at a makeover. And further reinforcement that I can never ever ever do anything remotely related to modeling. Thank gawd I'd never had any hopes and dreams of becoming a model. Phew!

QotD

Is it advisable to work with people whom you are friends with... or not?

Pain

I have a blister in my mouth. The whole of my lower mouth feels swollen.

It hurts to talk, or even move my mouth. I have 2 meetings today.

Eating is agony :o(

= me in a foul mood

*staring daggers at my PC*

...sigh...