Dog vs. Cat
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
08:00 : Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
09:30 : Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
09:40 : Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 : Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 : Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
12:00 : Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
13:00 : Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
16:00 : Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
17:00 : Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
17:30 : Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
18:00 : Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
18:30 : Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
20:30 : Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of My Captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today, my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ......
08:00 : Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
09:30 : Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
09:40 : Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 : Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 : Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
12:00 : Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
13:00 : Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
16:00 : Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
17:00 : Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
17:30 : Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
18:00 : Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
18:30 : Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
20:30 : Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of My Captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today, my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ......
posted by Ai Ling at
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
2 Comments:
Moral of the story: Get a dog, its pure, innocent, and easier to please, unlike cat's who's evil and is planning to kill you.. Mwahahahaha....
By
Anonymous, at June 01, 2006 5:12 PM
Haha... maybe, maybe not... we'll never know ;o)
By
Ai Ling, at June 01, 2006 5:16 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home