I Suck :o(
Yeecckk...
Made 2 major boo-boos at work this week. One was major enough that it made the VP look bad in front of the media. ACK! *strangle self* Luckily we managed to do some damage control but not enuf to get off the hook from a good "reprimand", on my boss' part, that is. I just hope and pray that this is all part of the learning curve which will eventually die off on its own when I finally get the hang of things. Just hope it doesn't take too long coz I dun think I can take anymore heart-stopping moments, especially in front of celebrities and the press.
My job requires a lot of talking and cajoling to get things done. These days, I'm getting tired of hearing my own voice. Everything is a rush job... and I keep repeating myself to ppl "So sorry yah, but we gotta get this done/approved/release a.s.a.p. Pls pls pls pls pls help me get this done soon, ya. Tolong ya" Ssssshhhhh... I dun wanna hear myself talk anymore!!!
**********
We did improvisation in Odissi today.
And I realized, AGAIN, that I suck at being creative!
See, I get stressed when I dun have structure, or at least a framework to work on. So when someone tells me "Here, I'm gonna put on this piece of music, u're going to use this particular hand movement. I dun care how you move but using just this hand movement, I want u to just get from one side of the room to the other", I just go *blink blink* Huh??? Aiyoh!
I think too much. Everything is analyzed and re-analyzed again. So when I have to just come up with things (like dance movements) on the fly, I go BLANK *goggle eyes* How lar, like this?!! :o(
Actually, improvisation is rather fun, after I got a hang of it and make extra extra effort not to be self-conscious and to NOT think about ppl watching me. I can just go into my own world and go on and on but unfortunately, improvisation doesn't mean sinking into my own world.
No no... improvisation means we gotta be MORE alert to the other dancers around us, not by looking at them directly, but by FEELING their energy and movements and either (a) blending with them, or (b) contrasting with them. Aiyoh!!! Sooooo difficult!! *smacking self in the head*
Sigh... oh well... can't have everything can I? Gimme form and structure anytime.
Made 2 major boo-boos at work this week. One was major enough that it made the VP look bad in front of the media. ACK! *strangle self* Luckily we managed to do some damage control but not enuf to get off the hook from a good "reprimand", on my boss' part, that is. I just hope and pray that this is all part of the learning curve which will eventually die off on its own when I finally get the hang of things. Just hope it doesn't take too long coz I dun think I can take anymore heart-stopping moments, especially in front of celebrities and the press.
My job requires a lot of talking and cajoling to get things done. These days, I'm getting tired of hearing my own voice. Everything is a rush job... and I keep repeating myself to ppl "So sorry yah, but we gotta get this done/approved/release a.s.a.p. Pls pls pls pls pls help me get this done soon, ya. Tolong ya" Ssssshhhhh... I dun wanna hear myself talk anymore!!!
**********
We did improvisation in Odissi today.
And I realized, AGAIN, that I suck at being creative!
See, I get stressed when I dun have structure, or at least a framework to work on. So when someone tells me "Here, I'm gonna put on this piece of music, u're going to use this particular hand movement. I dun care how you move but using just this hand movement, I want u to just get from one side of the room to the other", I just go *blink blink* Huh??? Aiyoh!
I think too much. Everything is analyzed and re-analyzed again. So when I have to just come up with things (like dance movements) on the fly, I go BLANK *goggle eyes* How lar, like this?!! :o(
Actually, improvisation is rather fun, after I got a hang of it and make extra extra effort not to be self-conscious and to NOT think about ppl watching me. I can just go into my own world and go on and on but unfortunately, improvisation doesn't mean sinking into my own world.
No no... improvisation means we gotta be MORE alert to the other dancers around us, not by looking at them directly, but by FEELING their energy and movements and either (a) blending with them, or (b) contrasting with them. Aiyoh!!! Sooooo difficult!! *smacking self in the head*
Sigh... oh well... can't have everything can I? Gimme form and structure anytime.
posted by Ai Ling at
Thursday, July 06, 2006
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