Never Say Never

This past year, I've learnt a painful lesson :

1. Never ever ever assume that you will never fall for a single and available guy that ur gal friend fancies (even if he doesn't fancy her)
2. Never ever ever even insinuate to the said gal friend that u will never fall for a single and available guy that she fancies (even if he doesn't fancy her) lest it be miscontrued as a promise on ur part, even though she says it's ok, she won't mind if u do
3. In short, NEVER SAY NEVER, coz u know wat??

Things change, people change... and BAM! U suddenly find urself attracted to the said guy and vice versa, and before u know it, u're together BUT now, u're perceived to have betrayed the said gal friend for going out with a guy she likes, never mind the fact that he doesn't fancy her. Never mind the fact that u've never planned for it to be this way. Never mind the fact that u're just as shocked as to how it turned out. Never mind that u tried to deny it for as long as u could.

Wat can I say... it's my fault... I said 'never' too soon. Never say never, remember?

BUT I refuse to feel guilty anymore coz (1) I didn't 'steal' him from anyone - he was single and available, and (2) I didn't distract his attention from anyone else (as far as I was aware). If he had shown any interest at all in the said gal friend, or any other gal, I'd have backed off right away.

I guess I assume too much a lot of the time. I assume that ppl are like me and think like me. Like, if I were in the position of the said gal friend, I wouldn't see it as a betrayal coz heck, he doesn't like me so that's all there is to it. After that is confirmed, any and every female out there is open to 'catch' him, even my gal friends, coz nothing I say or do is gonna make him like me THAT WAY anyway. Sure, it might hurt but I'd like to think that I'm big enuf to wish them well and hope they have a happy life together AND move on with my life. Life's too short to be moping around anyway. But that's just me... I can't expect others to be like me. See, assuming again... tsk tsk...

I've been told that a normal good gal friend would never do wat I did. Well then, I guess I'm not a normal good gal friend. Heck, I dun even think that I THINK like a normal gal sometimes! I guess my definition of a good gal friend is different from that of the general female population. Well, ppl can judge me all they want. I know in my heart, and my true friends know that I'm not a person who's out to hurt others intentionally and with malice.

We women are sometimes too complicated for our own good. But being the 'not-so-normal' gal I am at certain things (and blur too, at that), I guess that's why I get along better with my guy pals. They're far less complicated. Anything dun like or not happy, just whack only. Whack once not enuf, whack another time. Then all is fine and dandy again. Anything they want or dun want, like or dun like, they'd just say it to my face, and vice versa. Dun have to tiptoe around them and watch every single thing that I say. This, of course, excludes my circle of long-time gal pals, who grew up with me, fought with me, and who know me exactly as how I am and who I am, and know that I dun have any malice or bad intentions in me. And can say anything they want to me and I won't take it to heart and vice versa.

I'm sorry for assuming too much, too often... I'm only human, not a saint. And being human, and knowing the fact that we can't ever please every single person, we sometimes need to be a little selfish to find some happiness in our lives coz at the very least, we know wat we want.

I dun regret wat I did... not a single bit.